nowhere NEAR enough hype around xenia……………. shes even TALLER and BUFFER than KASSANDRA?! her introduction is her CARVING UP a slave traders FACE?! shes a fucking PIRATE QUEEN?!?!?!?!?!!?! step up lesbians
blackwall’s secret was shocking the first time i played inquisition but upon replays it’s just fucking. hilarious. ur like “hey blackwall u been hearing any voices” and my man is just like “uhhhhhhhhhh haha yes and/or no whichever is the right answer”. this fool really came into the role so unprepared and we never. doubted him. why.
character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X
the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies
people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them
alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit
bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”
someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)
choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character
the “hands go down” trope
example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*
how could all y'all forget “ACT NATURAL!”
These are all great but let’s not forget two characters giving extremely biased flashbacks to the same event that each paint the other as an incompetent loon
i would like to respectfully add: scenes where a character walks into a room, sees something scary, and turns around and walks out with no reaction or change of expression
a high-stakes zany action scene forced to come to a complete halt while some characters take a very, very long elevator ride
i want 2 say something but it might be too controversial..
Lesbian: liqueurs & whiskey
Gay: cocktails and vodka
Bisexual: wines and champagnes
you know i really wanted to like this post, but there’s just one little thing that’s being overlooked
don’t make me do this ginger-ale-official
please… it is your duty
I’m sorry it has come to this. I wish we could have been friends
heterosexual: ginger ale
oh yeah? oh fucking yeah? I’m going to sell my soul to the devil in exchange for the assurance that he will place a thumb tack on the ground wherever you walk so you can never take off your shoes again. have fun sleeping in your loafers jackass
